Loss is an inevitable part of life. All of our lives have ups and downs, and experiencing loss is just one of the puzzle pieces that make up the journey of life. At Lighting The Way, my mission is to give you the tools and resources to help you use your losses to make yourself stronger. One of the toughest losses to face is when your other half, your spouse dies. Your bond is such a beautiful bond that when the time comes for your loved one to move on, it makes it that much more difficult to say goodbye. You are now faced with the challenge of walking through life as a widow, something you probably had never even given a second thought.
Your spouse dying is understandably heartbreaking. Your person was likely the one who knew you better than anyone and now is suddenly gone. You’re left figuring out how to move forward. And just that phrase “how to move forward”… do you even want that? The loneliness, the emptiness, the overwhelming waves of grief; it’s all so much to bear.
At Lighting The Way, I don’t have easy answers or quick fixes, but I do have something just as important: understanding, support, and a reminder that you are not alone. You don’t have to navigate this pain by yourself.
Widowhood isn’t just one loss but moreso a hundred little losses, every single day. The silence in the house. The empty side of the bed. The missing “good morning” and “goodnight.” The “what’s for dinner honey”. It’s not just about missing the big moments; it’s about grieving all the small ones, too.
Grief is exhausting and some days, it may feel impossible to get out of bed. Other days you might feel okay, only for a song, a smell, or an unexpected memory to bring everything crashing down again.
This rollercoaster is normal. Widows often struggle with loneliness, depression, and a withdrawal from social life. It’s not just sadness; it’s a deep, aching emptiness that no one can truly prepare you for.
If you’re feeling this way, please know: you’re not broken, and you’re not failing. You’re grieving. Let yourself cry. Let yourself feel angry, lost, or numb. And when you can, reach out to a friend, a support group, or even just a neighbor who asks how you’re doing. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Grief doesn’t just live in the heart. It takes a toll on the body too. You may feel constantly tired or feel any number of sensations I the body. Some lose their appetite; others find comfort in food. It’s all part of how your body responds to deep emotional pain.
Because extreme grief can physically impact the body, it’s so important, no matter how hard it feels, to take care of yourself. Eat when you can. Move your body, even if it’s just a short walk. And most importantly, give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
If you find the feeling of your spouse is leaving your awareness or maybe already has, I hear you and can only imagine what that is like for you.
I won’t tell you that time will heal everything or that things will go back to the way they were because they won’t. But I can promise you this: the pain won’t always feel this sharp. The heaviness won’t always be this crushing. And little by little, you will find tiny, quiet moments where you feel a little lighter.
Until then, I’m here. Whether you need someone to talk to, resources to help you cope, or just a reminder that your pain is seen and understood, Lighting The Way is here for you. If you need support, please reach out and contact me. You don’t have to do this alone.